So the UK clearly doesn’t want to win Eurovision this year. Perhaps the BBC is saving all of its budget for the Olympics, and has decided that hosting Eurovision 2010 would leave too big a hole in its coffers.

Not that I care. I’d rather see it come from somewhere else, and see a bit of another country in the tween-song postcards.

As a result, we’re putting in the weakest song for a long time. Very repetitive, and really going nowhere until it comes to an end. Put it up against some of its rivals and I can see us coming home in the bottom half again. Maybe the bottom quarter. Perhaps the bottom five.

So, my first pick of the five UK beaters is Sweden’s Malena Ernman, who mixes English and French with opera and pop in La Voix. And she looks like Ulrika Jonsson. I’ve had this on semi-repeat for the last two days.

An unlikely winner, but top 10, I’m sure, and nice to see them doing something so different to last year’s (also excellent) Hero.

I’ll be drip-feeding the rest of my reasons why the UK won’t be winning Eurovision this year over the next few days. Happy listening.